I can draw ugly cartoons of people you hate
Back in high school, I drew each and everyone Noori hated. I wish I could find those notebooks where my masterpieces are hidden. Be my friend and we can imagine how ugly your haters can get! High five!
I don't take texting seriously
Good things is that you'll never receive that 3am-overly-attached-bestfriend text. And I always expect people to text me first. High hops, huh. And I'm heartless while texting to a really attached
He: *Telling me that he's in a huge trouble*
Me: I wonder how you're still alive? How come your sister didn't kill you?
He: .. Well, I'm still waiting for his text to come and I'm not that mad to publish what his message says. He would've disgraced Ree the Siddique, I know him well.
I'd never open your secrets
Because I have a terrible memory. Or I can say that I'm loyal type. The past achievement is that I once forgot my friend's crush name. Well, that's just past. But I always keep a reminder of my friend's birthday on my tablet that means I'm not going to forgot the big day you're going to blow your candles. But your secrets are safe here, inside.
My mum cooks well
Really well that you'll want to eat more. This "Eat More" option is only for friends. This makes my mum's cooking a blessing to me. I can bribe people with it to be my friends. And we Pakistanis are big food lovers so it really works for me!
I'm never bothered by my looks in pictures. Noori takes 500 pictures a day while I'm 1 selfie per month. So being my friend makes you free to take ugly/weird/awkward/horrible (I swear this is an option) pictures with me. And you're even allowed to post them on Instagram, I don't mind losing one follower or two just . because . of . you.
I have a blog
You can be published on my blog! We can bitch about people you don't like. Bloggers are awesome, I'm telling you! You'd be lucky to have a blogger freind. Right, fellows?
Basically, this might help me to gain a friend or few in college. People will know these perks. And in the end, I feel awesome offering this much. Tee-Hee!
PS: There's a Blogger Snail Mail program coming soon! Stay attentive and cheers!