Monday, 15 September 2014

Who is she?

When I first saw her at my friend's party, I thought she was weird. She was around 17 or 18 but she wasn't like girls of her age. She didn't talk in a tone like them, didn't laugh wildly as other young girls were doing, she didn't even wear those mainstream clothes that every other young girls was wearing. She looked different. I've had a thought in my mind, "Who is she?"

She was sitting cross-legged on a royal blue coloured round sofa. My friend Aliza, who arranged this party loved this colour so her interior looks blue blue all the time. Aliza was the only reason I was attending this party because we've been friends for pretty much long time. I went close to "that girl", I was feeling an extreme attraction to her and I've had no idea why. I'm a housewife and I usually don't get too social in this kind of gatherings because  I can't afford to give much time to new contacts and friendships. But still, that girl was the center of my attention. I kept noticing what was so special about her.
She had messy hair like she'd been procrastinating when it came to hair styling. She was wearing a crossbody bag, her face had no sign of make up, her eyes were bright as stars, her clothes were so different that made her look weird in a way. I used to like different and odd things, I flashed back to my past. Suddenly I saw something. She was writing something on a journal.
Then I couldn't stop myself. I rushed to her sofa. My heart was jumping upside down, I've had a strong feeling that I've already met her or know her in anyway.  When I sat in front of her and said an awkward hello, I was SO sure that there's a connection between us. Or there was a spark that took me here. She looked at me, saying hello back, with a puzzled look that why I'm trying to be friendly. "Uhmm, I'm Mia, I've been watching you for like a few minutes but you're not enjoying this party. You're just writing on this journal, what is it?", I said everything in a single breath. It felt good. She smiled a pure bright smile that reminded me of someone, but still clueless WHO THE HELL?
"My name is Sara. I'm writing a new blog post. I'm a blogger." Her words landed on me like a missile. She was a blogger. A BLOGGER. My feet started to tremble, I asked her, "You are a blogger?"
"Yes!", she said proudly. "I'm a lifestyle blogger and a member of Karachi's young bloggers panel. I recently started working as a young journalist at Dot Media and I...... I couldn't listen to her anymore. I wanted to go deaf, I wanted to runaway. Maybe to a place where nobody could see me. I wanted to RUN. Sarah was ME. The moment when I've had a spark, the moment when I wanted to go near her and talk to her, I've realized that I saw something in her. I was seeing a part of ME in her.

I've no idea when did she stop talking. I stood up without saying any word and left. I saw myself in her. And when I reached my car and exhaled the burning breath that I've been keeping inside me. I flashed back. 15 years ago, when I was 17, a young bright blogger and a wanna-be journalist. With messy hair and different thoughts. People around me thought that I was weird. They told me that I'm so weird and I don't look like them, I should be changed and do the stuff that normal people do. If I have to survive in society, I have to change myself and live like others and stop doing all the "weird" stuff. And I did, I changed myself for them. And after all those past years, I regret this today. I didn't realize in all those years that I was losing something. I was losing myself. The truth was, people didn't think I was weird or odd, they thought I was dangerous. Little girls with big and creative ideas are considered as monsters in society. They ruined me. I remained a blogger just in a few memories. I didn't do anything to save my blog, my words, my thought and MYSELF. And today when I saw Sarah, she reminded me of ME.  I suddenly realized that there were warm tears on my cheeks, burning my skin. "Good luck, Sarah", I said to myself. "My story ended untitled and un-heroic but I hope yours (Sarah's) wouldn't remain like this. I saw a part of me in you and I hope one day your story will earn a title and you'd become something you dream of. You're your own hero girl, good luck again.


OMG GUYS I FINALLY PUBLISHED A SHORT STORY! It's the first ever story I felt like I should publish on my blog because it can relate to most of us because we're bloggers. Have a read and let me know whatcha think. Can I be your next Areegreenrowling? Pliss? 

Tuesday, 9 September 2014

5 quotes that changed my life

I'm a big sucker of good words. And quotes. Whenever I see something which is nice to read, I just write it down on my journal or sometimes Instagram it. There are a few quotes that were LIFE CHANGING for me.

What if I fall? What if you fly?

There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask, "What if I fall?"
But oh my darling, "What if you fly?"

I stopped at Erin's blog when I saw this quote "What if I fall? What if you fly?" on Tumblr. And then I literally stopped. Her poems are SO beautiful. I kept reading each and everything she wrote. And I'm waiting to buy her book once I get paid. Her writings remind me of my 10 years old self who used to be a poetess. I used to write silly/romantic/magical poems, it looks just like a forgotten memory to me. But I want to start it again, I want to play with rhyming and magical words again. I already have taken a small step. I have written a few poems. You can tell me your thoughts that what do you think, if you want :)

Living well is the best revenge
This quote is basically my secret of success (Wait, did I just reveal something?) No matter how rough life's going on, be the best of you and live like a queen. Live like Beyonce in front of people who try to let you down and kill them with your fabulousness!

Falling in love with yourself doesn't make you selfish

This quote is so powerful. It clears the point of self love and opens your eyes. I LOVE it! When I first saw this quote, I felt something inside which can't be described in words, it only can be felt within heart.

Why do we fall?
This quote is a lifesaver. There were moments when my fallen and broken self needed a head up. All those WHY ME? or WHY ALWAYS ME? were horrible. This quote was a guide, to collect my broken pieces and start to build my new self, more powerful and more awesome.

Real self is dangerous
 I saw this on Troye Sivan's Facebook page and I was like = mind blowing! When a person knows his real self and values it, his opinion matters. His voice is heard because he's not just another part of a crowd but a single voice that dares to speak.He has a voice that can break into those tall buildings own by government's big shots and let them know that he existsand can ask for his rights. A real self is dangerous.

What's your favorite quote?
Baaaaaaaye (In Troye's voice)

Wednesday, 3 September 2014

Not afraid to be 17

16 August, 2014. I turned 17 years old. Teenage years are so weird. One moment you're being called a big kid that should do that etcetera etcetera work and the other moment you're being called that you should know your limits because you're still too small, yes just a small kid. You just have no clear idea what to do. Which is, honestly, my least favorite part about these magical yet rough years. But we keep moving towards growing up game.

For me, being 13 was awkward, I had no idea how to do this growing up stuff. Being 14 was weird, things were complicated. 15 was better in a way. But 16 was THE WORST and to get this clear, 16 is usually NOT the sweet sixteen. And now, here I am at 17. I had to choose whether it could be Silly Seventeen or Superb Seventeen for me. And I have decided it to be Superb Seventeen. Give me a moment to explain this to you.
I love writing. I think I can make a pretty good career in this. I usually keep wearing a crossbody which holds my tablet, my journal, a pen and my lipbalm during travels or going out. Because in my mind, I am a journalist or an amateur writer who is in search of new stories and ideas. My folks keep helping me in this which I highly appreciate. But there are moments when I talk to people on something and they simply ignore my opinions or my further questions on a given topic because according to them, I'm just a silly teenager who doesn't know much about life or life experiences. Sometimes it's a clear rejection of my opinion or idea. Which, obviously, is painful. This is where I chose to be Superb Seventeen. I'm going to fight for my opinion. Last week, I had a conversation with my uncle about self esteem. According to me, having self esteem is important. It gives you power to love yourself for what you are & take stands and make decisions on your own. But according to my uncle, people with high self esteem are vain. And that's where our opinions collided. I told him that this thought of him was wrong. Self esteem is not a selfish term, I believe that. And then this quote did the rest of the work: “Falling in love with yourself first doesn’t make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible.” And I cleared him that self esteem and self obsession are two different words. We ended this discussion pretty gently. But I was glad that I delivered him my thoughts and opinion pretty well without being afraid of what if he rejects my opinion or tell me I am the one who's wrong. But I did it and it was my little success with talking to people. I want to do this more and more. I want to discuss more stuff to people, listen to what they say and tell them what I think. And then write about it, or blog about it. And remember that no matter what anyone says about my writing pieces or the poems that don't rhyme perfectly, I'm going to do whatever I can. I've written some short stories too which I will write about soon on blog. One is about a blogger that I am MOST excited to present. Till then, I'd happily concentrate on being this Superb Seventeen.

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

I'm Areeba and I blog

Almost 2 years ago, I created this blog. I had no idea what I was going to write or do with my online space. I kept writing, writing and now whenever I look at my old posts, I feel a little bit embarrassing + funny. Like, really dude? I used to write like that? But it's totally fine. In those (almost) 2 years, I ran out of ideas, I cried over getting less response to a post, I had an ugly internet, I had no motivation to write but me and this blog survived. We're still here and second blogaversary is near. I was planning to write something very special for my blog on its second birthday but honestly, I have no idea. Last 3 days for me were no-internet-for-you-babe kinda days so I thought what I'm going to do with my baby blog. And I think I've decided, I won't stop doing what I'm doing. Blogging is simply a thing I LOVE to do, so I'll keep up with it no matter what's up. I know there are a few people who read me and that's enough. I do think about my blog. I think of having a successful blog, a pretty blog that I love, a blog that will make people's day, a blog that spreads a smile on my face and a blog to keep memories. That IS why I blog. And I'm proud to say that I'm Areeba and I blog.

So here we are, a little bit emotional and a little bit of motivated. Let's do blog more often and stay happy. And there are a few things I want to share with you all right now. I am SO excited for my college, let's hope it turns our more fun than high school. I need SO many tips how-to's and do-and-don'ts for college because I'd just be a noob for that big-girl-goes-college world.

There's a line I found from my old journal and I LOVE it, it says "My name is Areeba and I am made of thousands of stars", isn't that simply so lovely?

I saw this quote on Pinterest and fell in love with it. And luckily took this perfect photograph too. She.

 Baaaye (In Troye Sivan's voice)

Friday, 22 August 2014

My top photo fails from wedding week

Finally, the wedding week is over. All wedding stuff is over. I'm too tired. My mehndi (aka henna) has started to fade. I was thinking of doing a typical traditional post where I'd talk about the random stuff again and again and tell you guys what I did and what I wore. Same boring stuff, phew, right? But I have something speical for you guys. I'm not going to post what random crap I did, the stuff that I usually do at every wedding. As it was last wedding from my maternal family, and my uncle got married on Pakistan's independence day and my aunt on my birthday, here's a special post of how my photos went wrong at the moment. Basically, me and Noor were the host after a few family members. We had to ask, check & greet guests and didn't have much tie to stand still and pose. So the photo results were pretty terrible.

The grand entrance of my uncle Harzi on mehndi:

THOSE EFFING ARMPITS! Applauds to my attempts to censor them. Nobody told me about this ugliness.

The grand entrance of my aunt hibo.

Here comes a picture with aunt Hibo. I wish I knew how terrible my hair were looking or the smile was way TOO bright.

An attempt to selfie of the year
I mean, there could be all of us, smiling at my camera and we could make it to the best selfie of the year if only we tried hard. But in the reality, it was me, taking a selfie with flash on.

Another selfie attempt
It's only me who can bear flashlight for a selfie but not everyone. Like this man I call my uncle, can't bear flashlights and end up looking like this:

An attempt to enter a group photo:

Making a cousiny-love group photo
It's a sure thing we (these two and I) don't much appreciate each other's company because a 14 years older cousin is usually a not-so-good friend.
Her expressions.
I better cut off myself.

Somebody caught my real-time expessions
Specially when there was a kid cousin behind my back trying to photobomb us.

I wore Pakistan's flag badge and nobody appreciated it.
That's a sad one, right. And now I drew a weird looking arrow so I can get attention.

An attempt to a classy pose
I forgot my mag tikka is a wanderer.

I can be a famous meme

Behind-the-scene last moments selfie
Because the photographers had come inside the bride room and we were notified to GET OUTTA THERE.

My birthday gift: A ghost picture with my bestie
*That's her hair, trying to be funny.

Kicked out again
The professional photographers with expensive cameras told me to get out of the group photo (this happened again) So I posed this after I was kicked out. Stay happy no matter what! #nohate

An attempt to look good with same hair
Noor got an appointment with the beautician while I was at home, brushing my hair. That's the result. Everybody kept asking me if I forgot my hairband at home and needed to braid them. Sigh, cruel world.

The only picture with the bride
The last day of wedding week, I only got 58 seconds with my aunt who's officially a mrs now. That's what came out. A SELFIE! And look at my hair, I look good in tied hair and a tight hair bun.

Instead of all these photos, there were a few that I LOVE. They're not a fail. They're my favorite.

Baaaye (In Troye Sivan's voice)